Ep. 11 — Our Homebirth Experience
- May 8
- 5 min read
🌿 Birth Timeline
Gestation: 41 weeks
Early contractions began: The night before
Bloody show noticed: 7:40 AM
Labor became more active: Around 10:00 AM
Midwife arrived: 11:40 AM
Entered birth tub: Around 1:40 PM
Pushing stage: Approximately 45 minutes
Baby born: 3:28 PM
⏳ Estimated Labor Lengths
Early labor: Overnight → around 10:00 AM(approximately 10–12+ hours depending on when contractions began)
Active labor: Around 10:00 AM → approximately 2:43 PM(about 4 hours 45 minutes)
Pushing stage: Approximately 45 minutes
Total labor: Roughly 16–18 hours from first contractions to birth
🌊 Laboring at Home
I started getting contractions the night before, but they were manageable enough that I still got decent sleep. By morning though, I could tell something was changing. The contractions felt stronger, more intentional, like my body was slowly shifting gears.
At 7:40 AM, I went to the bathroom and saw blood in the toilet.
That moment made everything feel real, but it felt like a dream.
I texted my midwife, and by then the contractions were becoming consistent. Around 10 AM, I noticed more blood and labor was clearly building. There was no rushing out the door. No bright hospital lights. No panic. Just me, at home, moving through labor one contraction at a time.
My midwife arrived around 11:40 AM.
I spent a lot of labor using a rice heating pad on my back while leaning forward and rolling on my birth ball. During contractions, my midwife used counterpressure on my hips, which helped tremendously.
At one point I tried laboring on the toilet because everyone says it can help labor progress, but honestly, sitting backwards felt strange to me, so I eventually just sat normally instead.
✨ Things That Helped Me During Labor
Rice heating pad on my lower back
Forward-leaning movements on the birth ball
Hip counterpressure from my midwife
Breathing techniques
Low vocal sounds during contractions
Warm water in the birth tub
Staying in my own familiar environment
As labor intensified, the pain became a lot stronger and more consuming. But even then, I still felt grounded because I was in my own space.
🌊 The Birth Tub
Meanwhile, my spouse and midwives worked together to fill the birth tub with warm water.
And then finally, around 1:40 PM, I got in.
Honestly? Getting into the birth tub was one of the best feelings I have ever experienced.
The warm water immediately softened the intensity. It didn’t take contractions away, but it helped me surrender to them instead of fighting them.
Up until that point, I had been using my breathing techniques and low sounds to stay relaxed and manage contractions well. I really understood during labor what people mean when they talk about staying in that “primitive” or “native brain” space.
Then my water broke right before pushing.
It honestly felt like a rubber band snapping inside me, and it startled me enough that fear crept in for a little while. I think that moment pulled me out of the calm mental space I had worked so hard to stay in.
🤍 Pushing & Birth
Pushing lasted around 45 minutes.
As baby’s head was coming out, things became more intense than I expected. Initially, there was concern about possible shoulder dystocia, but afterward my midwives confirmed baby’s shoulder itself was not actually stuck. Instead, they believed it was likely soft tissue dystocia playing a role, something I now suspect may have happened with both of my births.
Interestingly, in both labors, there was a moment when baby’s head was out where I remember saying out loud:
“I can’t do it.”
Looking back, I think that moment had less to do with physical inability and more to do with the overwhelming intensity and vulnerability of transition between baby’s head and body being born.
Complications are always a possibility in any birth setting, whether at home or in a hospital, and I think it’s important to be honest about that.
One thing I appreciated deeply about midwife-supported homebirth is that there were two experienced midwives present, both bringing different knowledge, perspectives, and hands-on support to my birth.
I truly feel lucky they were both there.
Their calm guidance and physical assistance helped me work through that moment safely and confidently, and afterward they told me they were happy I had chosen a supported homebirth setting for this experience.
It was raw, exhausting, and deeply vulnerable.
I remember saying out loud to my spouse that it hurt so bad, but at the same time, inside my own head, I kept thinking:
This actually doesn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would.
It’s strange trying to explain birth because both things somehow felt true at once.
And then, at 3:28 PM, our baby was born.
The moment afterward felt almost surreal.
Quiet.
Heavy.
Relieving.
I remember just looking at my baby thinking:
“I don’t know if I can ever do this again… but I’m so glad we made the decision to homebirth.”
Looking back now, even with how intense and vulnerable birth is, I still feel more peace about this experience than I ever did after my hospital birth.
🛏️ Postpartum Care That Felt Like Care
Afterward, my spouse said doing this birth at home felt like the best thing we could have done.
And honestly, I agree.
Birth is such a raw, vulnerable experience that part of me almost never wants to think about it or relive it afterward because it asks so much of you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Every birth changes you.
It strips you down in ways that are hard to explain unless you’ve lived it yourself.
But this time felt different.
I felt completely supported during labor, during birth, and especially afterward.
The postpartum care from my midwives was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. The continuation of care, the emotional support, the way they checked on me and cared for me as a whole person instead of just monitoring charts and timelines, it changed everything for me.
I also was able to not only use the traditional sitz bath for postnatal but comfrey which I think really helped me heal much quicker than before especially with this being a subsequent birth.
🌿 What Felt Different This Time
No rushing
No pressure
No feeling managed
Longer postpartum support
Continuation of care at home
Being able to labor on my own timeline
Feeling emotionally safe
Feeling trusted instead of controlled
I loved being on my own time.
I loved that the only thing I needed to focus on was laboring and bringing my baby into the world.
Just support, trust, and space to let my body do what it already knew how to do.
🌿 What I Learned
I learned so many things about myself through this experience.
Birth is 1000% a mental game.
I was incredibly emotional about going past 40 weeks because of everything we’re told through IVF pregnancies and hospital-based birth culture. The fear surrounding due dates felt overwhelming at times.
But my body wasn’t failing.
My baby wasn’t failing.
Looking back now, I truly believe my baby came when she was ready.
She was back to birth weight within two weeks, breastfed more easily overall, and settled into sleep much more quickly than my first.
And honestly?
I don’t think I could ever birth outside of a tub again.
This birth didn’t erase the trauma from my first experience, but it did give me something back that I thought I had lost forever:
🤍 Trust in myself.
This is the story I wish I had found years ago.
And maybe now, it becomes that story for someone else too.
