The Motherhood Series, Ep. 7: Pregnancy After IVF — The First Trimester Reality

After all the waiting, the anxiety, and finally reaching that “graduation” moment from the fertility clinic, you might expect the first trimester to be pure joy and relief. I thought I’d feel like I was living in a movie, glowing skin, instant tears of happiness, and all the magical moments.

But the reality was very different.

The first trimester is often called the “secret trimester” for a reason. It’s filled with exhaustion, nausea, and emotional ups and downs, much of it hidden away from the world. And when you’ve come through IVF, those feelings get layered with years of hope, fear, and trauma.

The Unexpected Emotional Mix

When I first found out I was pregnant, my emotions were a mix of shock, excitement, and nerves. I expected to feel only happiness but found myself navigating a complex swirl of feelings. I googled symptoms obsessively, tried to decipher every twinge, and questioned if I was really “pregnant enough” to celebrate.

The truth? It’s okay not to feel that “pregnancy glow” right away.

Symptoms to Expect or Prepare For

No one warned me how intense the first trimester could be—even after all the fertility treatments, I still felt blindsided. So, in case you're preparing or already in it, here are some of the most common (and totally normal) first-trimester symptoms I experienced or learned about from other IVF moms:

• Exhaustion that hits like a wall This isn’t regular tired, it’s “fall asleep mid-sentence” tired. Your body is working overtime, even if it doesn’t show yet.

• Nausea or food aversions Morning sickness can hit anytime and may vary day to day. Some people deal with full-on vomiting, others just feel queasy or repulsed by food they once loved.

• Bloating and mild cramping You might not have a bump yet, but your uterus is busy growing. I felt more bloated in those early weeks than I ever did during IVF meds.

• Tender or sore breasts Rising hormones (and progesterone, if you’re still taking it) often make breasts sensitive, tingly, or achy, especially at night.

• Mood swings and intense emotions The mix of hormones and uncertainty can make emotions feel heightened, grief, joy, anxiety, and everything in between.

• Light spotting This one is scary, but not always a cause for concern, especially in IVF pregnancies. Always check in with your provider, but know that light spotting can be normal.

• No symptoms at all (sometimes) Some days I didn’t feel pregnant, and that was the hardest. It’s unnerving, but many healthy pregnancies start with minimal symptoms.

• And if you’re a second-time mom? You might notice symptoms even earlier than your first pregnancy. Your body remembers what to do and responds sooner, especially with bloating, ligament stretching, nausea and fatigue.

  
  

What Helped Me Survive and Thrive

Here are a few things I learned that made those early weeks easier:

• Prioritizing Rest Early pregnancy drains your energy in ways you can’t prepare for. Naps weren’t optional, they were essential. Even short rests helped me recharge.

• Simple, Gentle Foods Morning sickness and food aversions changed what I could eat. Toast, Dunkin lol, and plain pasta became my staples. I gave myself permission to eat whatever felt manageable and left nutrition goals for later.

• Minimalist Essentials I kept first-trimester purchases to a minimum: a quality prenatal vitamin, a comfy body pillow, and stretchy leggings were enough.

• Mental Health Checks Pregnancy after infertility carries a heavy emotional load. Mindfulness exercises, journaling, and leaning on a supportive inner circle were crucial for keeping my mindset grounded.

  
  

When Should You Tell People?

Ah, the big question: When should we share the news?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, and with IVF, the emotions around this decision can be even more layered. For us, we told close family and a few friends around 9 weeks, after seeing the heartbeat twice. Looking back, that’s definitely considered early, but we wanted the support and didn’t want to walk through that stage alone.

Some people wait until 12–14 weeks, when the risk of miscarriage drops. Others choose to share right away, while a few wait until much later. It’s deeply personal.

Here’s what helped guide us:

• Would we want support from this person if something went wrong?

• Are we sharing because we want to, or because we feel pressured or obligated?

• Will this bring us peace or stress?

There’s no perfect moment, only what feels right for you.

Embracing the Quiet Journey

This stage doesn’t always look like the social media highlights you see. It’s quieter, more private. But every small victory, a beta that rises on time, making it through a tough day, the faintest flicker of a heartbeat, is worth celebrating.

If you’re in this stage now, know that your feelings are valid. You’re allowed to feel joy and fear at the same time. You’re allowed to take care of yourself however you need.

Cravings, Struggles, and Surprises

If I’m being honest, the first trimester was the hardest of them all. Every symptom, every emotion, every decision felt heightened, especially after IVF. The exhaustion was deep, the nausea felt endless, and the emotional weight was heavier than I expected.

Still, some surprises stood out. Cravings showed up in the weirdest ways, like suddenly needing lemon ice tea first thing in the morning, or gagging at the smell of things I once loved. I didn’t feel like myself, and that was jarring. But as the weeks went by and we started getting into the double digit weeks they became markers of progress. Strange as it sounds, they reminded me it was worth it in every step it getting the heartbeat, getting off the meds, finding out the gender and doing all the tests.

There was beauty in the mess, even if I couldn’t see it clearly at the time. It was hard, but there is nothing like what was next to come. Don't get me wrong the first trimester was a struggle of wanting to do nothing but sleep and it was hard on my partner. You basically lose a season, keep in mind you can get anti nausea medication which does help many people!

The Motherhood Series, Ep. 8 — The Second Trimester Shift: Relief, Reality & Everything In Between

What happens after the first trimester fog lifts, but you're still exhausted, still adjusting, and trying to function in a world that expects you to be glowing and energized?

In the next post, I’ll share what the transition into the second trimester really felt like, and how pregnancy doesn’t always magically get easier overnight.

Stay tuned. ❤️