The Motherhood Series, Ep. 8 — The Second Trimester Shift: Relief, Reality & Everything In Between
- Lyndsey Paprota
- Jun 19
- 4 min read
You hear it constantly:“Once you hit the second trimester, everything gets easier.”
And yes, some of it did.But what I wasn’t prepared for was how much stayed hard… or just changed into a different kind of hard.
The Fog Lifts… Sort Of
Coming out of the first trimester felt like I could finally breathe again, just a little. The constant nausea began to fade, the exhaustion let up slightly, and I stopped crying every time I smelled coffee (a win, right?). I was no longer counting down to each beta or ultrasound. I was in it now: an actual, ongoing pregnancy.
But here's the thing no one talks about:You don’t magically feel amazing just because the calendar says 13 weeks.
I was still tired. Still anxious. Still adjusting to this new, in-between phase of pregnancy, where you're expected to start "glowing," but you're still recovering from everything it took to get here.
The Emotional Whiplash of "Feeling Better"
At first, I welcomed the relief from early pregnancy symptoms. But then, as my nausea and exhaustion faded, so did the constant physical reminders that I was still pregnant.
Cue the anxiety.
I didn’t have a noticeable bump yet. I couldn’t feel movement. And without the daily chaos of first trimester symptoms, I started second-guessing everything again:
“What if something happened and I don’t know it yet?”
“Is it normal to feel okay today?”
“Shouldn’t I be more excited by now?”
Infertility trains you to expect the worst. So letting myself relax? That was a practice—not a default.
The Second Trimester "Middle Place"
No longer nauseous.Not quite visibly pregnant.Definitely not at the “cute kicks and nursery planning” stage yet.
That weird middle place felt like being in limbo again, just a different version of it.
I was still dealing with:
Digestive weirdness (hello, bloating and constipation)
Round ligament pain that felt like zaps to the pelvis
Fatigue that randomly returned like an uninvited guest
Rib pain that never quite went away
Horrible heartburn that couldn’t be touched by TUMS (IYKYK)
And emotions I couldn’t fully explain
I didn’t feel the baby move until 22 weeks, which felt like forever. Every day I waited for that flutter, I questioned everything. And when the movement finally came, it was both beautiful and a massive sigh of relief.
But by that time, my ribs constantly hurt, and rib flare became a lingering issue even postpartum. That deep ache and shortness of breath were real.
Start Strengthening Early...Your Body Will Thank You
If I could go back and tell myself one thing in those weeks, it would be this:
Start walking daily and strengthening your deep core during pregnancy.It matters. It doesn’t have to be intense—just consistent. Gentle, mindful movement is key.
Some resources I personally loved:
I still did my squats all pregnancy, until the end, when the belly was just too heavy! 😂 Staying consistent made such a difference in how I felt overall, and I definitely thanked myself for it in the delivery room, where I could still do a bridge (even with the epidural).
Celebrating Small Wins (Because They Matter)
Here’s what helped me settle into the second trimester:
Finally feeling movement, even late, gave me peace
Telling more people about the pregnancy made it feel real
Stopping IVF meds was a huge mental and physical shift
Letting myself daydream again without fear
I stopped waiting for permission to enjoy any of it. I started allowing myself to say:“This is happening. And it’s okay to believe it now.”
The Gender Reveal: More Pressure Than Magic?
Somewhere in the second trimester came the gender reveal, and I’ll be honest, I felt pressure to feel something big. People were excited for us. There were assumptions, predictions, even gender reveal party ideas tossed around.
But for me?It was emotional, yes. But not in the movie-moment way people imagine.
It felt like another deep milestone in a process that had already been full of them. I was still processing what it meant to be here at all, pregnant, after IVF, and the gender just added another layer of reality.
And truthfully, gender after infertility feels like such a heavy 50/50. On one hand, any healthy baby feels like the ultimate gift. On the other, you carry so many emotions and daydreams built up over time. My husband is such an amazing dad. Watching him now with our little one melts me daily, but he is also such a girl dad. We both had to take a breath.
That said, I knew from the start this was a boy. I could feel it. Call it intuition or something deeper, but I just knew.
We did the SneakPeek test early on, and I was right.
A few weeks later, our NIPT bloodwork came back and confirmed what I already felt:
We were having a healthy baby boy. 💙
Later, we had a big party and did a reveal with ducks that changed color, which was so fun! I think next time around, I’d rather keep it small and simple, but the duck gender reveal will definitely stay a tradition. 🦆💙
And while we didn’t do a big reveal or post a balloon-filled video at first, we held that moment close. It was ours. Quiet and sacred and full of love.
You’re Still Doing Something Huge
If you’re in the second trimester right now and wondering why you’re not feeling 100% better or more confident or more connected… I see you.
There’s no rulebook for pregnancy after IVF. You’re allowed to feel behind, overwhelmed, or unsure. Just because the world says “this is the easy part” doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone.
Growing a human is still huge, even if you're not vomiting daily anymore.
Coming Next:
The Motherhood Series, Ep. 9 — The Third Trimester Realities: Preparing for the Unknown
In the next post, I’ll share how the last trimester brought a whole new set of surprises and emotions, and how I prepared (or didn’t!) for labor, delivery, and life as a mom of two. Stay tuned! ❤️
